Mother’s Day and the Many Forms of Love, Loss, and Nurturing
Mother’s Day can be tender, joyful, painful—or all of those things at once.
It’s a holiday wrapped in ribbons and soft-focus photos, overflowing with images of smiles, flowers, and heartfelt cards. And while that picture is true for some, it doesn’t tell the whole story.
For many, Mother’s Day brings with it a quiet emotional weight: the loss of a mother or child, the ache of infertility or pregnancy loss, the grief of strained relationships, or simply the loneliness of feeling like your experience doesn’t fit the picture-perfect mold.
The Complex Emotions Behind the Day
What’s so tender about this day is that it calls up more than just celebration—it pulls forward the layers. Joy, yes, but also grief. Gratitude, but also regret. Hope, and sometimes heartbreak.
And when your reality doesn’t align with the highlight reel, it’s easy to feel invisible. It can feel like there’s no space to talk about your truth without dampening someone else’s joy. But the truth is: your feelings are valid. There is room for every story.
You can celebrate and still grieve. You can feel proud and still feel pain. There’s no need to choose just one emotion.
Expanding the Definition of Mothering
Mothering is bigger than biology. It’s not confined to greeting cards or brunch reservations. It’s the quiet moments of care—the warm meals, the long talks, the hands held, the tears wiped, the encouragement whispered in just the right moment.
And mothering can come from unexpected places:
A teacher who believes in you when you don’t believe in yourself.
A best friend who shows up with snacks and silence when you need them most.
A neighbor who watches your kids without asking questions.
A stranger who shows compassion when your day is unraveling.
Even Mother Nature has a mothering presence. When the world feels heavy, there’s grounding in her steadiness—the rustling of trees, the warmth of the sun, the quiet hum of life continuing. Sometimes, the most healing thing you can do is step outside and let the natural world hold you for a while.
If Mother’s Day feels too complicated, consider honoring nurturing in whatever form it shows up in your life. Go for a walk. Write a letter. Celebrate the people—past or present—who’ve held you, cheered for you, and loved you like a mother would. And if you need that presence right now, reach out. Ask for care. Let others mother you.
Supporting Others Through the Holiday
If you know someone who may be hurting this Mother’s Day, your kindness can make all the difference. Many people are carrying grief that isn’t always visible—losses that never made it into words or weren’t recognized out loud.
Here are a few gentle ways to offer support:
Say something. Even a simple “Thinking of you today—how can I support you?” can open a door.
Offer options. Ask if they’d like company, a distraction, or space to talk about the person they’re missing.
Be present. You don’t need the perfect words. Just showing up and letting them know they’re seen is powerful.
Respect their needs. If someone chooses to disengage from the day entirely, honor that. For some, self-care means cocooning and quietly surviving the day.
We never know exactly what someone else is carrying. That’s why sensitivity matters. And sometimes the most meaningful thing you can do is let someone feel what they feel—without trying to fix it.
Be Gentle
There is no one right way to experience Mother’s Day.
Whether you’re celebrating, grieving, mothering, missing, longing, or simply getting through the day—your experience is real, and it matters.
Let’s hold space for all of it. Let’s expand our definition of what it means to nurture and be nurtured. Let’s remember that love, in all its forms, is worth honoring.
And most of all—let’s be gentle with ourselves, and with each other.
About Rebecca Doyle, LCSW
Rebecca Doyle is a dedicated advocate for trauma-informed therapy and takes a whole-person approach to client care. Focused on empowering individuals to make the best decisions for their well-being and goals, Rebecca meets people wherever they are in their life journey.
Rebecca received her master’s in social work from the University of Chicago. She also earned her certificate in traumatic stress studies from The Trauma Center at JRI in Boston. For over 20 years, Rebecca's work has spanned multiple types of settings, roles, and levels of care.
In her free time she enjoys reading, writing, visiting the beach, and spending time with her adolescent son.
Experience working with: Children, Adolescents, Teens, Young Adults, Adults
Locations: Buffalo Grove, Libertyville
Telehealth: Yes
Email: rdoyle@omni4all.org